Thursday, July 28, 2011

Oh Hello Mr Darcy do you like my pants?

I like to think I'm someone who exercises but I'm not. I'm very lazy. But like everyone, I try. And I say that “I go swimming” cos last summer I went through a phase of about 3 months where I went swimming a few days a week. and I say “I used to be a runner until my knees packed in” cos last year, for about 4 months, I went running once or twice a week very slowly, stopping quite a lot for walky breathers and then did a 10k run and had to stop cos of me knees. They did actually pack in. but I like to tell everyone about it and how I was all set to run the marathon but I can't cos of my knees. Even though they have stopped me from running I'm sure I would have got bored of it and I seriously doubt I would every have run a marathon. Do you know how far it is? FAR. and when you meet people who are training for the marathon they tell you that they have to run 18 miles about twice a week. yeah whatevs, I'm getting a bus.

So I also tell people that I “do aerobics” and have recently got it into my head that I should train as an aerobics instructor. I've told quite a few people that I'm going to become an aerobics instructor cos “I just LOVE aerobics!” and at a women’s empowerment course, everyone clapped.

Aside: on this course, we had to turn to the lady next to us and say “you're amazing” and we had to learn how to say no so that we could have me time. I shouldn’t really have been there considering my whole liofe revolves around me time

Lots of folk have asked me about my plans and I have to admit that I haven’t even googled “aerobics instructor courses” yet but that I will. Soon. Real soon.

And my newest craze is to walk everywhere. My cousin Marika did this some years ago. She lost about 2 stone by just going for long fast walks in her walky trainers. And she’d have a few chips and go “back in a sec” and she’d turn up 45 mins later after having gone for a long walky to burn off her chips.

So I bought some walky trainers! And I put them on with my lovely worky outfits and off I go. It feels so bouncy, bouncing around in my bright white clompy sports trainers. And I walk super fast and for about an hour. AN HOUR! I know. And yesterday I walked for an hour and a half. I KNOW!!!!

And I look like a massive tosser with lovely clothes and my big clompy trainers on. people look at me like I'm scum but who’s the one with the toned thighs and bum ladies! ME! and also them I suppose cos there are a lot of very thin pretty lovely ladies out there who look me up and down. There’s one who gets the same tube as me sometimes and she INTRIGUES me. she has a very small handbag with a little handle. What’s in there!? where does she put her packed lunch? Doesn’t she have a book or a magazine? What about various nail varnishes and spare shoes and some anti bacterial gel? I WANT TO SEE! She also has a very lovely pair of leather loafers. They look very soft and comfy so I guess that’s why she doesn’t need spare shoes. They're quite good leather too so I suppose she's rich and can buy lunch instead of lugging a big tupperwear around. Well that’s that solved.

So anyways yesterday I got home with my walky trainers on BRIGHT WHITE they are! And I took of my skirt before I took off my trainers and I looked exactly like bridget jones in the final scene of the film. Unflattering pants. Big thighs, a vest and trainers. I showed Dan but he didn’t get it.But today my knees hurt and I'm getting a callous so I'll probably not bother again.

2 comments:

  1. alol at poor bemused dan.

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  2. ALOL "I suppose that's solved" ALOL Bridget Jones ALOL haven't even googled ALOL I'll probably not bother again.

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