I'm Harry Potter and I'm an Alcoholic.

Now not many people know this about me. Actually maybe they do. Some people may not know this about me. but I like Harry Potter. If I was Carrie Bradshaw I'd do the voiceover bit as I typey typey type type in my underwear while cocking my head about like a pterodactyl and pouting in my underwear as “I'm Carrie Bradshaw, and I’m a potterholic”. Cos in America they talk about going to AA and AAA a lot and that means the one where you’re an alcoholic or a druggy and when they want to say something they're ashamed of they always refer it to that cos HAHAHA let’s laugh at alcoholics and their quest to get sober and be happy.

 SO anyways. I'm not a potterholic by any accounts. But I've read and enjoyed all 7 books. Yeah yeah, they're for kids. Blah blah blah. I don’t care if they're for kids ok? I'm allowed to like kids books. I also like “Tales of the City” a series of books apparently a cult favourite with gays. I'm not gay does that mean I can't read them? When people want to slag off harry potter they always say they're for kids. That’s all they say. And they shout it. angrily. Ok mate, chill out if I read quietly over here does it really offend you so much?


One thing those people hated the most was then the publishers realised that adults liked the books too they brought out adult versions. Which were the same but the covers were black and white and had a matt finish. I did find that offensive too tbh cos it’s cynical and BAD COMPANIES TRYING TO MAKE MORE MONEY! Etc but also cos it assumes that adults will only read kiddy books if you give it a black and white cover with a matt finish. I suppose it’s the equivalent of hiding your porn mag in the financial times and reading it on the tube. Or hiding your tampon up your sleeve when you go to the toilets at work. It’s not embarrassing to read harry potter is it? if it is, you don’t have the whimsical personality required to enjoy them.

 So anyways. I like em! What can I say? Although I think it’s really stupid that Hermione is called that. who had every heard of that name until they read potter books? I was calling her her-mee-own for years in my head and that’s very frustrating.

 So as we all know the last harry potter film is out. And I haven’t really seen any of the films. So Dan and I decided to watch them ALL and then go to the cinema and eat popcorn and see the final chapter.

We had a day off on Monday and watched 2 in a row. God that was hard going. Why are they so bloody LONG???

 We’ve watched 4 now and my dreams have been permeated by them. And in the 4th one harry gets seriously uggers. In the first one you just wouldn’t have seen it coming. That’s the problem with casting child actors for a long period of time. who knows how they’ll turn out? they got lucky with emma Watson and Rupert grint. Oh and have you see the one who plays Neville longbottom? He was seriously uggers in the first 4. I saw him on the telly the other day and HOOOOO MAMA!!!! That boy is hot.

But daniel is quite offensive. And you just really want him to get rid of those round glasses. SHOULD’VE GONE TO SPECSAVERS! LOLZ! #dated.

 And the acting is terrible. By god. Emma Watson is just awful. The 2 ginger twins are pathetic. Draco malfoy, the evil one. Wow. he is one blond cardboard cut out. it’s like watching the worst school play ever. Not even a 6th form school play. And not even at a private school that has a good drama teacher who failed as an actress but still wants to swoop about in velvet cloaks like we had at my school. Speaking of her actually, he was so weird. She never looked you in the eye. She always looked at a spot just above your head. I asked her about it once and she said its cos in drama exams you never looks the examiner in the eye.
And to sum off of this up, I have also concluded that Dumblebee is a massive irresponsible twat. He's always hiring teachers who turn out to be evil and he never knows when someone is being duplicitous and also he appears drunk a lot of the time. It’s like when I realised Carrie Bradshaw was a total twatface who was a bad friend.
And there you have it. 2 harry potter/carrie bradshaw refs in one blog. Good day sir.