I like to think I'm someone who exercises but I'm not. I'm very lazy. But like everyone, I try. And I say that “I go swimming” cos last summer I went through a phase of about 3 months where I went swimming a few days a week. and I say “I used to be a runner until my knees packed in” cos last year, for about 4 months, I went running once or twice a week very slowly, stopping quite a lot for walky breathers and then did a 10k run and had to stop cos of me knees. They did actually pack in. but I like to tell everyone about it and how I was all set to run the marathon but I can't cos of my knees. Even though they have stopped me from running I'm sure I would have got bored of it and I seriously doubt I would every have run a marathon. Do you know how far it is? FAR. and when you meet people who are training for the marathon they tell you that they have to run 18 miles about twice a week. yeah whatevs, I'm getting a bus.
So I also tell people that I “do aerobics” and have recently got it into my head that I should train as an aerobics instructor. I've told quite a few people that I'm going to become an aerobics instructor cos “I just LOVE aerobics!” and at a women’s empowerment course, everyone clapped.
Aside: on this course, we had to turn to the lady next to us and say “you're amazing” and we had to learn how to say no so that we could have me time. I shouldn’t really have been there considering my whole liofe revolves around me time
Lots of folk have asked me about my plans and I have to admit that I haven’t even googled “aerobics instructor courses” yet but that I will. Soon. Real soon.
And my newest craze is to walk everywhere. My cousin Marika did this some years ago. She lost about 2 stone by just going for long fast walks in her walky trainers. And she’d have a few chips and go “back in a sec” and she’d turn up 45 mins later after having gone for a long walky to burn off her chips.
So I bought some walky trainers! And I put them on with my lovely worky outfits and off I go. It feels so bouncy, bouncing around in my bright white clompy sports trainers. And I walk super fast and for about an hour. AN HOUR! I know. And yesterday I walked for an hour and a half. I KNOW!!!!
And I look like a massive tosser with lovely clothes and my big clompy trainers on. people look at me like I'm scum but who’s the one with the toned thighs and bum ladies! ME! and also them I suppose cos there are a lot of very thin pretty lovely ladies out there who look me up and down. There’s one who gets the same tube as me sometimes and she INTRIGUES me. she has a very small handbag with a little handle. What’s in there!? where does she put her packed lunch? Doesn’t she have a book or a magazine? What about various nail varnishes and spare shoes and some anti bacterial gel? I WANT TO SEE! She also has a very lovely pair of leather loafers. They look very soft and comfy so I guess that’s why she doesn’t need spare shoes. They're quite good leather too so I suppose she's rich and can buy lunch instead of lugging a big tupperwear around. Well that’s that solved.
So anyways yesterday I got home with my walky trainers on BRIGHT WHITE they are! And I took of my skirt before I took off my trainers and I looked exactly like bridget jones in the final scene of the film. Unflattering pants. Big thighs, a vest and trainers. I showed Dan but he didn’t get it.But today my knees hurt and I'm getting a callous so I'll probably not bother again.
Now not many people know this about me. Actually maybe they do. Some people may not know this about me. but I like Harry Potter. If I was Carrie Bradshaw I'd do the voiceover bit as I typey typey type type in my underwear while cocking my head about like a pterodactyl and pouting in my underwear as “I'm Carrie Bradshaw, and I’m a potterholic”. Cos in America they talk about going to AA and AAA a lot and that means the one where you’re an alcoholic or a druggy and when they want to say something they're ashamed of they always refer it to that cos HAHAHA let’s laugh at alcoholics and their quest to get sober and be happy.
SO anyways. I'm not a potterholic by any accounts. But I've read and enjoyed all 7 books. Yeah yeah, they're for kids. Blah blah blah. I don’t care if they're for kids ok? I'm allowed to like kids books. I also like “Tales of the City” a series of books apparently a cult favourite with gays. I'm not gay does that mean I can't read them? When people want to slag off harry potter they always say they're for kids. That’s all they say. And they shout it. angrily. Ok mate, chill out if I read quietly over here does it really offend you so much?
One thing those people hated the most was then the publishers realised that adults liked the books too they brought out adult versions. Which were the same but the covers were black and white and had a matt finish. I did find that offensive too tbh cos it’s cynical and BAD COMPANIES TRYING TO MAKE MORE MONEY! Etc but also cos it assumes that adults will only read kiddy books if you give it a black and white cover with a matt finish. I suppose it’s the equivalent of hiding your porn mag in the financial times and reading it on the tube. Or hiding your tampon up your sleeve when you go to the toilets at work. It’s not embarrassing to read harry potter is it? if it is, you don’t have the whimsical personality required to enjoy them.
So anyways. I like em! What can I say? Although I think it’s really stupid that Hermione is called that. who had every heard of that name until they read potter books? I was calling her her-mee-own for years in my head and that’s very frustrating.
So as we all know the last harry potter film is out. And I haven’t really seen any of the films. So Dan and I decided to watch them ALL and then go to the cinema and eat popcorn and see the final chapter.
We had a day off on Monday and watched 2 in a row. God that was hard going. Why are they so bloody LONG???
We’ve watched 4 now and my dreams have been permeated by them. And in the 4th one harry gets seriously uggers. In the first one you just wouldn’t have seen it coming. That’s the problem with casting child actors for a long period of time. who knows how they’ll turn out? they got lucky with emma Watson and Rupert grint. Oh and have you see the one who plays Neville longbottom? He was seriously uggers in the first 4. I saw him on the telly the other day and HOOOOO MAMA!!!! That boy is hot.
But daniel is quite offensive. And you just really want him to get rid of those round glasses. SHOULD’VE GONE TO SPECSAVERS! LOLZ! #dated.
And the acting is terrible. By god. Emma Watson is just awful. The 2 ginger twins are pathetic. Draco malfoy, the evil one. Wow. he is one blond cardboard cut out. it’s like watching the worst school play ever. Not even a 6th form school play. And not even at a private school that has a good drama teacher who failed as an actress but still wants to swoop about in velvet cloaks like we had at my school. Speaking of her actually, he was so weird. She never looked you in the eye. She always looked at a spot just above your head. I asked her about it once and she said its cos in drama exams you never looks the examiner in the eye.
And to sum off of this up, I have also concluded that Dumblebee is a massive irresponsible twat. He's always hiring teachers who turn out to be evil and he never knows when someone is being duplicitous and also he appears drunk a lot of the time. It’s like when I realised Carrie Bradshaw was a total twatface who was a bad friend.
And there you have it. 2 harry potter/carrie bradshaw refs in one blog. Good day sir.
