I have no Purpose in Blogland!

There’s this blogger I like and she always writes really funny blogs about 80s films I like and how she grew up in the 90s. Like me! And her blogs are often lists of things with funny detailed reasons for stuff. Yeah I'm being really specific I know. Anyways there seems to a trend to them. another blog I read, but don’t actually know if I like, is by this girl who calls herself Slutever. It’s cos she's a slut and prob is always, like, whatever. She writes about her sexual escapades and also about living in a squat and doing acid and plant food and..whatever. and there’s another one who is a teenage boy and writes about being a teenager but his identity is a secret..woooo!

So I was thinking that my blogs don’t have a theme. A theme dear god!
But are themes good?

Well sometimes they are. Like when we had our new years eve party and the theme was 1997. Although when I told people at work they were like, oh why are you having a party with the theme 1997? You’re weird HAR HAR HAR. Oh right sorry, I didn’t realise it was weird to have an imagination.

But then think about Oceana. We call it Oceana Themerama. It’s a grotty nightclub. But it’s weird cos it isn’t a small one, its absolutely massive and they have them in Bristol and Milton Keynes and other such places and probably you’ll find that Callum Best dj-ing and I absolutely hate them. I’ll get to why in a minute, don’t be so impatient. Anyways, so the rooms in the club all have different themes and one is like Egypt (probably) and one is 70’s and one is..well I can’t really remember cos the one that I want to talk about is the Disco room. It has a LIGHTY UPPY DANCE FLOOR. Yeah that's right, just like in the movies. Like in Boogie Nights and Saturday Night Fever. Btw Boogie Nights is one of my FAVE films of all time. So yeah, it’s got a lighty uppy dance floor and that is like so totes amaze, I can’t believe it. NOWHERE has those, and that's really annoying cos really I'm quite easy to please. If you play Ok music and don’t play sports on the telly and have a good cocktail menu (not really about eh cocktails. I hate cocktails and I hate being forced to get a buy one get one free deal with people..ooo lets get cocktails! Umm, can I just have some wine?), then I’m happy. So add a lighty uppy dance floor and you’ve got a hit on your hands mister. I suppose there’s a gap in the market that I could try and fill, but I don’t have the start up costs and I'm lazy and like to have things presented to me, I don’t conjure them up myself. Although wouldn’t it be amazing if I bought a house and had a room with a bar and a lighty uppy dance floor? All my mates could come round and we’d have dance offs. And mebbiz all the best dj’s in town would come over and dj at my decks cos they just “heard” there was a good place to “spin”. Like in the L word when Kit opens a bar and puts a stage in it with instruments there at all times and she thinks that Lennie Cravitz will pop in and have a jam when he’s in town cos he’ll have heard there was a guitar and a stage. Yeah right.

But it’ll work with my decks and dance floor.

So anyways I hate Oceana cos they’re the only ones with the dance floor that would make my nights out complete. But I can’t go there cos the music makes me want to shove cheese in my ears a la ‘Ello ‘Ello. Adn I hate them for that. Plus they kicked me out once cos my friend allegedly pushed a lady bouncer.

So themes can be good or bad. and I guess the theme for my blog must be that it hasn’t got one. But then it does have one if I say that..oh chuckle. Another theme can be that I don’t spell check or proof read. LOLZ!

Urban Jungle

Ok so there’s this shopping centre that was built last year or the year before or some time, I don’t know the date Ok but it might have been opened on Halloween. So...specific. anyways, it’s in Shepherd’s Bush and it was quite a brewharhar when it opened (ACTUAL LOLZ at brewharhar btw, like I say that all the time) because it’s a mega big shopping centre that’s meant to be better than Bluewater. Side comment: Bluewater actually ROX cos it’s the shape of a triangle so you can get around it really easily and it is nice and clean and has millions of coffee shops where your mate from 6th form works and gives you free coffees and also lets you chief the big mugs. Only probz is that it’s in a quarry in Kent. Shepher’ds Bush one is in Shepherd’s Bush which makes things a lot easier..espesh for me cos I work in Kensington. But anyways.

They made a whoopdidoo about it cos it’s in central London and all big and shit. And they built a new tube station for it. Actually I think they built three different station for it. So you can use 20 different lines to get there. But when they built the platforms they built them too narrow and you couldn’t get off the train. Or something. Oh here, just look at this.

So yeah. It’s a bit famous. And it’s called Westfield. Now, I think this is a bit of a rubbish name. Westfield. My mum thought it was called Springfield. But that’s not why it’s bad. I just thought that was funny.
It’s rubbish. I mean, most shopping centres are rubbish. Lakeside. Bluewater. Big ugly Building by the side of a Muddy Puddle. In Maidstone I think it’s called Chequers. In Bromley South it’s called The Glades. Btw you should get the train through Bromley South cos they mention The Glades on the train sign on the platform. Blatant sponsoring.

So yeah, they’re all a bit shit. The one in Manchester is called The Trafford Centre and I like that for some reason. City pride maybe? Although they should have a Main Road one too for the city fans.

Hehe, get me pretending I know about football. And care. Cos I don’t know OR care about football, when it’s on the telly it makes me feel sick. I think it’s the weird sound of the crowd mixed with the bright green of the grass. Whatever whatever. I’ve gone on a tangent to Tangier, as my old mum used to say.

But back to Westfield. Oh! Little Tangier, here, is that when I type Westfield it’s the same font as the sign they use! They must use Bookman at the sign place too.
I was so disappointed when they called it Westfield then. We’ve established that. Why couldn’t they call it URBAN JUNGLE. That's rubbish actually. Or they could have called it PARADISE BUSH. That's bad too. But it’s Shepherd’s Bush-y. But it sounds rude. Like a “blue” film. But they COULD have called it WONDERLAND. I like that one actually. And it begins with a W so they wouldn’t have been too upset with the change. From Westfield.

But even though Westfield is rubbish..get this.
They’re building a sister centre in Stratford, east London. Cos of the ‘Limpics you know? And they’re making it all nice down there now. So they’re building this sister shopping centre. It’s in EAST London. Westfield is in WEST London. Westfield in WEST and a new one in EAST. So what are they calling it? They’re calling it Westfield.

Yeah. That’s right. It blew my mind and made me really angry and I can’t believe how STUPID PEOPLE ARE!!!!!!!