I've got a day off and I'm going to a wedding! I've decided to live blog every hour for your pleasure. I'm doing it on my phone so please excuse typos and bad grammar.
The wedding is Lucie Carr and her fella Ben dowrick. It's a cool east London wedding and I've been stressing cos all her mates are beautiful and wear totes amaze clothes. But the day has arrived. I've got an edgy dress so here we go!
10am
Hair is done now I think it looks a bit shit tbh and I'm wondering if I should put it up. I've got my dress on and we have a problem. It's very short but that's ok. The problemo is that it rides up. I just ran the length of the flat as a test and its ridden up around my waist. This could get embarrassing. It's also raining but at the mo its just spitting so fingers crossed.
11am
We're on the train now and we're sitting on one of those foursies seats. The man in front seems VERY annoyed that we've sat here. Tosser. Oh I'm so sorry you could have four seats for yourself and your ugly rucksack and your massive legs. There are also 2 boys who look so hungover like I've never seen before. And they're sitting quite far away from each other and turned away from each other looking in different directions but talking loudly to each other which is very disconcerting.
Anyways. The 5 min walk to the station was very stressful cos it was raining very hard and I was scared all my wash off fake tan would just wash off. And also is only got about halfway down the road before the dress wasn't even covering my bum anymore. Luckily its freezing so Im wearing my winter coat and noon saw. Luckily.
Midday
I'm in the church waiting for the bride so I'll make this snappy. We've got a lovely selection of hats and dresses going on. The groom has a top hat and the church is pretty impressive. It's massive and ornate and really beautiful. We've just happened to sit next to the bride's nice friend who I met at bestival. Phew. Cos I think I neglected to mention that I know Lucie from work.and even though I've been round her house a few times and once we all camped near each other at besto, me and my boyfriend don't know ANYONE. So everyone probably thinks I'm a distant cousin. When you're at a wedding of a closie you're always a bit suss of everyone else and you want everyone to know that you're actually really good mates with the celebrity couple. Ooo gotta go. Bride's coming!
1pm
The service was really lovely. The bride cracked up laughing all through her vows and they had a steamy smog when they were pronounced man and wife. We're milling about now while they take pictures and everyone tries to get near the celebrity couple to say congrats. I got a hug! <br>
It's VERY cool here. There are a lot of flesh rings and ace tattoos. The brides nails are black with white polka dots and the bridesmaids are wearing mini dresses. I'm glad I wore orange lippy now although my dress looks like its from bay trading. There's also a man who is the SPITTING image of Hugo off of made in.chelsea.
Now we're being ushered out as busses have come to take us to a secret location.
3pm
Ok I'm getting a bit behind. We were taken on.busses to this secret garden near monument it was SO AMAZING. and they had loads and loads of prosecco. They really weren't stingy. And scones! I've had 3 compliments on my.dress now so feeling a.bit more confident and we've chatted to the brides godfather and a lovely couple on the coach so its quite hard to blog. But they're cool. They're from.Essex and one of them is a dj and played football with mark wright when they were 6. Said he was a tosser. I gots all the gossip.
5pm
We've eaten now. It was like a picnic! The tables are named after shit west ham players and there's a fashion stylist and a musician at the table. And the cake looks like a castle! Had.a.few more dress compliments and helped a girl out in the Loos by giving her my eyelash glue.
The thing is that even though everyone is cooler than me and we're in east London is that noone is a shoreditch twat. They're all northern or from.Essex and noone loves northerners more than me. Or Essex people. Obvs. My grandad used to live there.
Ps eton mess for dessert! And they have the most amazong home.made.bunting.
8.47
Ill be honest I'm rubbing out of battery so ill tell you this; this stylistic got drunk and we danced. I danced with some other peeps. The dancing.ops.are amazing. I loce this wedding and I'm.drunk thanks to all the free booze.
10am next day
Ok so my phone ran out of battery after that nonsensical last post. What a crock right? I've analysed it though and basically I was trying to tell you all that the music was really great. And I was doing some pretty extravagant moves on the dance floor. And the fashion stylist was totally drunk before the speeches ended. But she kept going and was still there when I left she's a better woman than me. She was a happy drunk too and she told me I was hot. Compliment! That was after the speeches which were really great. I love speeches. The father of the bride had a puppet made of her by the same guy who made those puppets last year for that task when they had to talk through the puppet remember that? And one of the bridesmaids did a speech too which was unexpected but I loved it. Then boxes and boxes and boxes of chips arrived from a local chippy which was so great. Around this time I took a half hour break from booze which might have saved me cos I actually made it to the afterparty (after the reception in a pub nearby, they hired out the upstairs and had 2 djs playing cos all the guests are musicians, producers and djs it seems) and when Dan wanted to leave at about 2am I could have carried on. They were playing UK garage! How great is that. Maybe ill get really into garage music. When I become an aerobics instructor maybe ill play garage music and people will be like, you've gotta come to this class she plays old skool garage!
It was a good thing we left when we did though cos it took about ten hours to get busses home. And I kept forgetting where the bus was taking us and having a go at Dan. And then when we were almost home as I was walking down the stairs on the bus the driver did a jerky thing with the bus. You know what I mean where they swerve a bit or they suddenly accelerate and I totally fell over and flashed my knickers to the whole bus and banged my head as well and this man asked me are you alright what happened and I said the driver made me fall and then he shouted at me cos it turns out he WAS the driver. He said I was drunk and was really nasty. Then I cried all the way home. And Dan made me toast and tea but I think I fell asleep before it arrived. There's a full cup of tea next to my bed. So all in all it was so great seeing my friend get married and meeting so many lovely people and quite a few people got to see my knickers.
