It’s a magazine for WOMEN. It goes on about this a bit too much tbh. It holds networking events for women in business to meet each other; it had an article about how Maggie Thatcher was a feminist. It loves WOMEN OK? It’ll make any old article about nothing into something about “the sisterhood”.
This week, in one issue, we have an article about how modern women feel guilty for too much, working too hard, drinking too much, not calling granny cos too busy with work (oh yeah I forgot to mention that it also assumes all readers work from 7am to 9pm everyday and wear high heels and power suits and do yoga and earn really good money. It’s like they decided who they want to target so they just nah nah nah I'm not listening assume all readers are that target audience). Another article was about a lady fire fighter “she's the only one in her fire station!”, who does outreach work to get women to sign up and fights the fight for the ladies, subverting people’s expectations. Further on we come across an article about the “Coronation Queens”; the strong, gutsy women who have MADE Coronation Street over the years.
So yeah, it rams it down your throat. I've pretty much decided I hate it recently, but I still thought it probably was just trying too hard and had a good heart.
UNTIL NOW
Until I became incandescent with RAGE.
Every week they have a column by a guest lady writer who writes about anything they like. I still thought maybe the editor would read it and not allow it in if it was A. shit or B. Didn’t fit the “agenda” of the mag. I was wrong.
This week we have an article by this person:
She looks harmless enough. Until you find out she's a sexist bitch who would like to forget about suffrage and feminism and go back to the good old days where men could objectify women in the workplace and women could suck cock to get ahead. Now I notice that her eyes look particularly evil.
She wants good old office flirting back! What’s a little harmless flirting right? But that’s not what she means . what SHE wants are “the halcyon days” when “you could hear whooping from the lifts as you made your way to your desk in the morning” and “no item of female clothing would escape comment (leather eh? After a bit of dominatrix action, are we?”).”
This is all in the first 2 paragraphs.
So.
She liked it that women would actually shouted at. Intimidated. Made to feel like they weren’t part of the team, but just something to ogle. She obviously has massive self confidence issues that she needs validation from rank sweaty journos.
That’s another thing. She says “When I started in journalism- one of the last places to succumb to PC demnds”. What she's saying here is that journos are racist sexist ageist; everything under the sun, but that it’s a good thing, cos who wants to be PC gone mad? I heard a comedienne say once that objecting to Political Correctness is like objecting to “being nice to people”. Quite.
So whateverhernameis wanted to sleep her way round the offices of fleet street and wear sexy clothes and oh yeah she liked it the most when “the boys on the TV desk would get me to stand on a chair and swivel their mounted widescreen this way and that”. Oh right so you’re just a massive slag then? I couldn’t believe this drivel could get published, let alone that any woman would think it. let alone that any would would think it and write it down. Who is this ranko probably tory scum?
Then I found out she's Piers Morgan’s wife.
That bloke who was a national baddy and everyone hated him and published fake photos of British soldiers abusing Iraqi soldiers and ran disgusting tabloids and everyone hated him. And then everyone forgot about him for a bit and now he’s the goody judge on Britain’s Got Talent and no one cares that she's scum and has a face that screams to be punched and a nasal whine that sounds like a cat farting.
Well, someone had to love him and that someone is his wife. Although she probably doesn’t love him at all, he just made a comment once about her leather skirt while she was bent over picking up his pen so she shagged him and so on.
Anyways, back to the article. She goes on and on about how HR bores have spoiled all the fun by asking staff not to be rude to each other and intimidate the women and also do you mind not emailing pictures of Lizzie in accounts round? We know she slept with Karl consensually and let him take the pictures of her legs akimbo but she didn’t know he’d dump her and scan them into the computers. Sorry to ruin your fun but we are the bores in HR.
So she goes on and on about that but now, it’s great cos it can all go back to the way it was cos of Mad Men! The new scandalous programme on the telly that tells women to wear tight clothes to work and says men should get drunk in the office and leer at their secretaries.
Umm, excuse me have you actually seen mad men or did you just see a picture of Christina Hendricks and let your imagination do the rest? THAT ISNT WHAT THE PROGRAMME IS ABOUT!!!!!!! Yeah the men do those things and the women are perved on and treated like shit BUT THAT ISNT GOOD AND THE MEN LOOK BAD COS OF IT AND THE MAIN CHARACTER GETS HIS COMEUPPANCE*. And the girl who does best in her career is the one who doesn’t sleep with the boss and actually works for it. There's nothing right with this article and it’s offensive to me as a human being.
I’ll leave you with this extract on why she loves Mad Men.
The men, meanwhile,
engage in a series of laughably
inappropriate, crude and chauvinistic
interchanges: “Joan’s on the desk with
boobs on the blotter,” laughs one
about Christina Hendricks’ character
Stylist….you’re dead to me.
*I couldn’t spell comeuppance and it took quite a few tries.
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