Saturday, March 31, 2012

Summer Time and The Weather is Freezing

It’s SUMMER! For the past week, the sun’s been shining and so you feel like you need to wear sandals and pedal pushers (lol), t shirts and summer cardigans. I’ve been clinging to my favourite woolly cardy though cos it’s actually bloody freezing in the mornings and in the shade and I've felt quite guilty about it. The whole situation has been one confusing mess. There’s this pressure to ENJOY THE SUNSHINE and GO TO THE PARK!!! We did go to the park on Monday for a picnic and a beer before meeting a friend for her birthday drinks. After about 5 seconds I was shivering and literally lying ON my boyfriend to try and get some of his heat. I also have a streaming nose. On the plus side it’s time for summer nails and that's always fun.

Last weekend, my fella went off for some male bonding time with his cuz, and I had the flat to myself. YES! I punched the air when I found out. And I decided to stay in and eat weird noodles and watch the entire final season of Dawson’s Creek. That was quite a marathon. I started to doubt myself though when people were talking about going to beer gardens and walks and tweeted about having sunburned faces. I'm glad I sat on my sofa all day though. I mean, I opened the balcony doors. It was a bit like sitting on a cruise ship. Probably. A little bit about the Dawson’s creek final season.

Basically it was amazing. Because it was so shit. It was really badly written, like the writers were confused and having an argument about where the show should go. One episode it’s going in one direction and then next episode, it’s like a different writer got control and would undo everything. Dawson was barely in it, but that's no bad thing obvs. And some story lines and characters just got forgotten and abandoned with no explanation. It was weird. And traumatic. Cos Joey and pacey got back together again YAY, even though it was really out of the blue and unexpected. And then broke up again, one episode later BOOOO!!!

Then it all sort of came to an end and Joey finally went to Paris and everyone got a sort of happy ending apart from Grams who got breast cancer. Then came the finale. Set 5 years later. Which is just bloody LAZY. Because they knew how they wanted things to go but they weren’t sure how to get there so hey ho magic, it’s 5 years later. So they’re all meant to be 25 but Joey is already a Junior Editor at a major publishing house in New York and drives a really big boring car and wears reading glasses. And she sits around in the evenings drinking half a glass of red wine, editing stuff with her reading glasses on. Oh yeah and her boyfriend is Elton from Clueless. Took me hours to work that one out.

So she finished uni at 22 and in THREE YEARS she has that job. No way it’s not possible. Plus she's going to skip a really close friend’s wedding cos it’s her anniversary with her boyfriend. Not even a wedding anniversary. What a bitch. What a boring bitch.

And Jack McPhee, last seen doing quite badly at uni, is now an inspirational and established teacher who drives a sports car. So he finished his degree at 22, then did a course to become a teacher, finished that at 23 and now earns enough (after 2 years of teaching) to own a sports car. I don’t think so. Also, he has a boyfriend! Well that’s nice for him isn’t it but who is his boyfriend? Oh yeah it’s Deputy Doug, Pacey’s older brother who loves musicals and who Pacey always said was gay. Well look! He is! Basically that's quite offensive because the writers of Dawson’s Creek basically think that if you love musicals you must be secretly gay. Also it’s lazy because they needed a boyfriend for Jack but they couldn’t be bothered to write in a new character. Also, you know, I'm not a square, it's meant to be funny hahahaha, but then it makes a bit of a mockery of that fact that SPOLIER ALERT I'm GIVING AWAY MAJOR PLOT POINTS Jen dies.

Yeah. She's perfectly healthy and getting drunk and then BAM she's dying and then she's dead. The scene where she actually dies is weird and I wasn’t actually sure if she was asleep or dead. And you’re not sure if the funeral is a funeral or just a busy lunchtime at Pacey’s restaurant. Oh yeah cos Pacey OWNS his own restaurant. Now the whole time that Pacey was becoming a chef in season 5, I was quite sceptical and how fast it all happened because I have read Kitchen Confidential (the tell all, behind the scenes honest look at life in restaurant kitchens by Anthony Bourdain that I highly recommend) and I've also read Gordan Ramsey’s autobiography “Humble Pie” (which I suppose is his tell all story of how he is actually quite humble but the front cover picture, and ALL the content, say otherwise). So I KNOW how touch it is to make it in the restaurant biz. I also know that restaurants are money pits. So when Pacey became a talented head chef in 6 months, took a year off to be a scum bag stock broker and then became a head chef again, I thought...HMMMM IMPLAUSABILITY ALERT! But then lo and behold 5 years later he OWNS the place and is doing really well and everyone’s like “aww, look Pacey finally achieved great things like we always knew he could”. Which is nice cos obvs I fancied Pacey and wanted him to get together with Joey again. And apart from the way he became a chef, it is quite plausible that he could own a restaurant at 25. Gordan Rammo did. But he was a chef from 16 onwards with no breaks. Maybe I'm getting bogged down in these details. Or maybe I should become a detective. I'm pretty good at stalking people.

But anyways, at the end of the episode, you can see that Joey and Pacey want to get back together YAYAYAYAYAY, but they  don’t write it in. They just cut to a new scene months later and it shows them living together and sharing half a glass of wine. And that's it. That's the end. It’s SO DISSATISFYING!

I ended up rewinding it and watching it again though and afterwards I felt lost and alone and confused.

I really overloaded and I feel sick to the teeth of telly. I can only watch about 4 hours a day at the moment, instead of my usual 8. Maybe I've changed? I also gave up booze a few weeks ago. Cos I had this terrible hangover followed by another one the next day. I couldn’t handle it. I was a broken woman. This must be what getting old is. So I decided to take a few weeks off the sauce. I'm really enjoying it! I'm spending less money and consuming less calories and sleeping really well. It won’t last obvs. And I can only do things in extreme. Ie booze all the time or no booze. I suppose I'm like Johnny Lee Miller in Trainspotting. He could give up heroin any time he liked. I'm like that. And I can only watch tv programmes if I watch the whole series in one day and then emerge, blinking in the sunlight, unable to accept reality.

But what this means is that now that summer’s here, I won’t be pining for the characters of Capeside and instead can sniffle and snivel and shiver around parks, while huddling for warmth.