Yes, I'm a Massive cockOMG so the new Sex and the City film is about to be released and the world has gone mad; magazines are doing features about sex and the city EVERY day. Last week I read one over someone's shoulder (It was Stylist and I couldn’t get a copy for love nor money...I think I’ve mentioned that before. They’re like gold-dust) an article which was written by men about why they fancy each of the characters. I read another feature in the same magazine the following week which was a reader’s poll of all their fave SATC moments throughout all the episodes and also the previous film. And I have to say they were all cliché and rubbish and obvs. Like when Carrie says "your girl is lovely Hubble". That was shit. Oh yeah and also when Carrie sees some shoes in a shop window and goes "Hello, Luver". I can imagine her whiney voice now. It's the same voice she did when she walked into that massive flat and went "hello, I live here". Dick. You know, Carrie used to say good stuff. Like when she was smoking and got told off and she shouted “I have an ADDICTION sir!”. I liked that.
By the way, both those articles I just mentioned were in Stylist. And I love Stylist. My fave mag used to be Style. It’s free inside the Sunday Times which is unfortunate cos I don’t really like the Sunday Times. I used to buy the whole paper for 2 quid and leave it on the train for someone else, just taking the magazine for myself. But that’s pricey and if me and Daniel Hogan (boyfriend extraordinaire) buy the paper on a Sunday, what with his observer and my Sunday times, we spejd 4 quid on papers. I could get a dress for that. Or a bland and not very filling salad in marksys. Anyways, my friend Dopel found a copy of Style on the train this week and gave it to me as a present and I realised it’s far inferior to Stylist. There was a feature on Cheryl Cole..who’s on EVERY mag cover right now..I’m not exaggerating. Check. And the interviewer was so up Cheryl’s arse. Cheryl kept saying really shallow vacuous things like, I wanna be an inspiration to my fans…one fan told me they keep a picture of me on the fridge to stop themselves eating..and that’s great). and she was quoted as saying something along the lines of “you can't please everybody all of the time, or everybody some of the time” or another saying that made sense and the interviewer after that said, granted, Cheryl was talking about dresses when she said that,. But I got the feeling she meant more. yeah right. She has a philosophy about dresses. move on.
But yeah, I love stylist. I really enjoy the articles and little features and yesterday when I was walking to the tube I saw a man handing out papers but thought it was a boring tory rag, such as the evening standard, but it was Stylist! YEAH! And I actually squealed, OOOO STYLIST! At him and he laughed and I thought, I bet he wishes more people were like me. Not being up myself or anything of course. But then I realised something. It was an SATC special. Well that’s good I guess. Although, they’ve done SATC features 2 weeks in a row previously. But ok. Now, normally a special means a really big feature and one or two other bits. THIS one is EVERY SINGLE FEATURE is about SATC. ALL OF THEM. And some of them are so tenuous and rubbish. Like theres a feature with 30 things we love. And its got some nail varnish…cos charlotte would like it. And a blue vase..cos it’s so new York. ARGH. Some of the features are ok and make sense. But the interviews with the cast might have been done by the work experience girl they're so crap…”who is your inspiration?” “are you like the character you play?”. Then the beauty bit is how to do your make up to look like them characters. And they're not even right. They gave Miranda a smoky eye. Hey, that’s a good code for black eye innit?
But enough of stylist. Here’s a link to the online version to check out how much it’s obviously been sponsored by the film company.
Anyways....I keep hearing people talking about how great the franchise was when it was a series but how the films are too long and why aren't they in New York anymore? They've completely forgotten that Carrie was always a massive tosser. Especially when you get to series 5. When she'd cut her hair shorter and was preggers in real life so had to wear a lot of baby doll dresses. and She was even more affected and posie than every and wore too much eyeliner and had her bra on show all the time. She'd be wearing a really nice fancy backless dress. With a bra. Really obviously. It was weird. Literally ALL her dresses. And there's one episode where she's having a love affair with the city and walks around staring at the sky with lust. And that's when she gets with that old Russian dude. Who, funnily enough is actually a famous Russian ballet dancer in real life. And actually, SJP (LOLZ! we call her SJP) used to be a ballet dancer when she was little. I wonder if they danced around together on set? Probably not, cos he would have been really good and would have thought she was shit cos she hasn't done it for 20 years or summink.
So yeah, Carrie was always a dick. She got dickier as the years went by, but she always thought she was coy and cute and would stare at people dimly while we had to listen to her internal monologue. This isn't to say I didn’t love the show. I used to get up an hour early before my lectures when I was at University so I could watch an episode on one of DVDs. I had series 1-4. I liked the 1st series in the way you like looking at photos of your mum and dad in the 80's. Carrie's hair was really bad, a red colour, in the first episode. and Miranda wore the most awful outfits you can imagine. Like a baseball cap on top of her hood and a onesy tracksuit. Btw I think Miranda became the most beautiful one in the end.
So I loved the show. My mate Janey stayed round once and I made my then boyfriend sleep on the sofa so we could stay up in my bed watching episodes til one in the morning. It was then that we discussed our theories about the characters. I said that I felt like each character was an extension of different aspects of Carrie's personality. That they represented those parts for literary and poetic reasons. Miranda was her ambitious, career driven side. Charlotte was her home-making, romantic side. Samantha, her sexual side. Jane nodded sagely and said yes, maybe you're right. but actually I think they represent us and the different aspects of our own personalities and so Miranda is our ambitious side etc. Oh, that's good Jane, but what about Carrie? Oh, Carrie's just a cock, she said. Touché. She hit the nail on the head. Of course, we were both studying women's literature at the time and that's why we were so pretentious and up our own arses.
So what’s annoying me at the moment is how everyone’s seemed to have either not noticed, or forgotten, that Carrie was always a dick, that the storylines were cheesey and that the whole thing was self-indulgent crap. But most of all, that we loved it for that and the films are totes no different. Like in the first film with that stupid Louise from St louis, sorry where was she from again? And what could her password possibly have been for the computer, oh yeah she had a love key chain, it must have been…..LOVE!!!! (Cue Carrie typing L O V E really slowly with one finger). What about how Samantha feeds Carrie yoghurt like a baby. Or that worst line ever….”How can I get out of this Mexicoma?”
“Aww, honey! You made a little joke!”
And I REFUSE to go to the cinema with my gal pals to watch it and pay more money so we can get a (Jack) Berger mini burger and a cosmo. No one even likes cosmos. And we won’t get all dressed up and then one of us will wear a blonde wig and we’ll all scream oh you’re SO Samantha! And we’ll wear heels even though we never normally do.
But I do wanna see it. Janey just emailed and suggested we watch it in a dive of a cinema and drink beer and play darts afterwards to avoid being clichés. I’m in.
By the way I typed this whole thing on my laptop while moving my head around in a weird way and I'm in my pants and I just got up and put a rug around my shoulder and looked out the window and lit a fag.
By the way, both those articles I just mentioned were in Stylist. And I love Stylist. My fave mag used to be Style. It’s free inside the Sunday Times which is unfortunate cos I don’t really like the Sunday Times. I used to buy the whole paper for 2 quid and leave it on the train for someone else, just taking the magazine for myself. But that’s pricey and if me and Daniel Hogan (boyfriend extraordinaire) buy the paper on a Sunday, what with his observer and my Sunday times, we spejd 4 quid on papers. I could get a dress for that. Or a bland and not very filling salad in marksys. Anyways, my friend Dopel found a copy of Style on the train this week and gave it to me as a present and I realised it’s far inferior to Stylist. There was a feature on Cheryl Cole..who’s on EVERY mag cover right now..I’m not exaggerating. Check. And the interviewer was so up Cheryl’s arse. Cheryl kept saying really shallow vacuous things like, I wanna be an inspiration to my fans…one fan told me they keep a picture of me on the fridge to stop themselves eating..and that’s great). and she was quoted as saying something along the lines of “you can't please everybody all of the time, or everybody some of the time” or another saying that made sense and the interviewer after that said, granted, Cheryl was talking about dresses when she said that,. But I got the feeling she meant more. yeah right. She has a philosophy about dresses. move on.
But yeah, I love stylist. I really enjoy the articles and little features and yesterday when I was walking to the tube I saw a man handing out papers but thought it was a boring tory rag, such as the evening standard, but it was Stylist! YEAH! And I actually squealed, OOOO STYLIST! At him and he laughed and I thought, I bet he wishes more people were like me. Not being up myself or anything of course. But then I realised something. It was an SATC special. Well that’s good I guess. Although, they’ve done SATC features 2 weeks in a row previously. But ok. Now, normally a special means a really big feature and one or two other bits. THIS one is EVERY SINGLE FEATURE is about SATC. ALL OF THEM. And some of them are so tenuous and rubbish. Like theres a feature with 30 things we love. And its got some nail varnish…cos charlotte would like it. And a blue vase..cos it’s so new York. ARGH. Some of the features are ok and make sense. But the interviews with the cast might have been done by the work experience girl they're so crap…”who is your inspiration?” “are you like the character you play?”. Then the beauty bit is how to do your make up to look like them characters. And they're not even right. They gave Miranda a smoky eye. Hey, that’s a good code for black eye innit?
But enough of stylist. Here’s a link to the online version to check out how much it’s obviously been sponsored by the film company.
Anyways....I keep hearing people talking about how great the franchise was when it was a series but how the films are too long and why aren't they in New York anymore? They've completely forgotten that Carrie was always a massive tosser. Especially when you get to series 5. When she'd cut her hair shorter and was preggers in real life so had to wear a lot of baby doll dresses. and She was even more affected and posie than every and wore too much eyeliner and had her bra on show all the time. She'd be wearing a really nice fancy backless dress. With a bra. Really obviously. It was weird. Literally ALL her dresses. And there's one episode where she's having a love affair with the city and walks around staring at the sky with lust. And that's when she gets with that old Russian dude. Who, funnily enough is actually a famous Russian ballet dancer in real life. And actually, SJP (LOLZ! we call her SJP) used to be a ballet dancer when she was little. I wonder if they danced around together on set? Probably not, cos he would have been really good and would have thought she was shit cos she hasn't done it for 20 years or summink.
So yeah, Carrie was always a dick. She got dickier as the years went by, but she always thought she was coy and cute and would stare at people dimly while we had to listen to her internal monologue. This isn't to say I didn’t love the show. I used to get up an hour early before my lectures when I was at University so I could watch an episode on one of DVDs. I had series 1-4. I liked the 1st series in the way you like looking at photos of your mum and dad in the 80's. Carrie's hair was really bad, a red colour, in the first episode. and Miranda wore the most awful outfits you can imagine. Like a baseball cap on top of her hood and a onesy tracksuit. Btw I think Miranda became the most beautiful one in the end.
So I loved the show. My mate Janey stayed round once and I made my then boyfriend sleep on the sofa so we could stay up in my bed watching episodes til one in the morning. It was then that we discussed our theories about the characters. I said that I felt like each character was an extension of different aspects of Carrie's personality. That they represented those parts for literary and poetic reasons. Miranda was her ambitious, career driven side. Charlotte was her home-making, romantic side. Samantha, her sexual side. Jane nodded sagely and said yes, maybe you're right. but actually I think they represent us and the different aspects of our own personalities and so Miranda is our ambitious side etc. Oh, that's good Jane, but what about Carrie? Oh, Carrie's just a cock, she said. Touché. She hit the nail on the head. Of course, we were both studying women's literature at the time and that's why we were so pretentious and up our own arses.
So what’s annoying me at the moment is how everyone’s seemed to have either not noticed, or forgotten, that Carrie was always a dick, that the storylines were cheesey and that the whole thing was self-indulgent crap. But most of all, that we loved it for that and the films are totes no different. Like in the first film with that stupid Louise from St louis, sorry where was she from again? And what could her password possibly have been for the computer, oh yeah she had a love key chain, it must have been…..LOVE!!!! (Cue Carrie typing L O V E really slowly with one finger). What about how Samantha feeds Carrie yoghurt like a baby. Or that worst line ever….”How can I get out of this Mexicoma?”
“Aww, honey! You made a little joke!”
And I REFUSE to go to the cinema with my gal pals to watch it and pay more money so we can get a (Jack) Berger mini burger and a cosmo. No one even likes cosmos. And we won’t get all dressed up and then one of us will wear a blonde wig and we’ll all scream oh you’re SO Samantha! And we’ll wear heels even though we never normally do.
But I do wanna see it. Janey just emailed and suggested we watch it in a dive of a cinema and drink beer and play darts afterwards to avoid being clichés. I’m in.
By the way I typed this whole thing on my laptop while moving my head around in a weird way and I'm in my pants and I just got up and put a rug around my shoulder and looked out the window and lit a fag.
